May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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