I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize