it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
