Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
