I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
