they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
