"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
