Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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