i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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