i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I did not marry a roomba.
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