Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
