a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
