shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
