Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
that is very illegal...i love you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
