Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
