Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
