what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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