my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
