I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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