And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
