i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
