I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
