There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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