you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he was CRYING into my vagina
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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