Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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