Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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