ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
