started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
