You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
