Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
3 2 1 whiskey
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
