thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
