Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think I won the penis lottery.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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