I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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