is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I love you. Go after that dick
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
