And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I wish there were birth control emojis
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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