The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
