she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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