pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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