it wasn't lemon gatorade
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
