Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
