is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
