her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
