Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize