i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
