Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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