Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
