Yo dont text me then not text me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
