so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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