on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The power of my boobs compel you
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
