Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i now understand why vodka
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
