they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
