so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
